After extinction of a fire at a hospital the chief fireman reports to the hospital manager:
- The fire is off, but there were some casualties. We could rescue 7 people, but 2 died.
The hospital manager is shocked:
- You rescued 7 people? You were extinguishing a morgue!
In bed. The husband is kissing and touching his wife.
She: Honey, I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning and I’d like to stay fresh.
The husband is disappointed and tries to sleep.
After while he turns to his wife:
- But you have no appointment with your dentist tomorrow, right?!
14 years: I want any girl.
16 years: I want exactly this girl, cause she goes with anyone.
18 years: I want them all! …to have at least once
20 years: I want exactly this girl, cause she doesn’t go with anyone.
25 years: I want only this girl, cause she’s the best!
30 years: I want this woman, cause she’s someone’s wife.
35 years: I want them all, except my wife.
40 years: I want this 16 year old blonde.
45 years: I want the lonely neighbor, she won’t say no.
50 years: I don’t want anyone, tired of all of them … but I need it
60 years: I want any woman, but I can’t do it so well anymore…
65 years: I have to pretend as if I still want.
70 years: Thank god, I don’t have to pretend anymore.
75 years: I remember how I wanted this woman.
80 years: I remember I wanted something, but don’t remember what.
Take off your underwear and give me your back.
- No, Jimmy, I don’t want it in my behind.
- Don’t be scared, it doesn’t hurt.
- But Cindy said it was painful.
- Cindy was moving all the time, I couldn’t hit the goal, that’s why it was painful.
- I’m shy.
- We know each other since school times, don’t be shy. For me there’s no difference whether you are a man or a woman.
- Maybe you can close your eyes?
- And how shall I find the spot if I close my eyes?
- Use your hands.
- Ah, I give up! Take it in your mouth…
…although a flu shot more effective than a pill
A woman asks her gynecologist: “I am 25 and I still don’t have pubic hair!”
- Well, how often do you have sex?
- Around 20 times daily.
- Have you ever seen grass growing on the freeway?
A woman talks to her friend:
- I don’t know what present to give my husband to his birthday. He already has everything what I need.
A guy robs a bank and takes the visitors hostage. He asks one of them:
- Have you seen me robbing the bank?
- Yes, - answers the guy
The robber shoots him.
_ So, who else has seen that it was me robbing?
A male voice:
- My wife
